My Story
Hey readers! I wanted to spearhead these blogs with the reason I am doing all of this. I won’t draw it out but it is important for those who may not know me and will stumble onto my website.
My name is Rahdyah, very clearly stated of course but it’s polite to properly introduce myself. Jesus Christ has always been a part of my foundation but as I grew, I remember adopting the belief that I could only get to Jesus if someone else helped me. My parents never taught me that but it was just how I thought I could get His attention. In church, week after week I would pray, shout, dance and go home. I experienced the Holy Spirit for the first time at 11 and I grew in the knowledge of spiritual warfare at a Apostolic church lead by Apostle Bruce C. Lester Sr. He taught me many things about prayer, fasting, warfare and living right before God. I still call him my grandfather to this day.
As you can imagine, with all of this good teaching, how could I surmise a thought like that? … looking back now I know it was insecurity and little faith. But it held onto me until I was about 17 or 18 years old. I always preferred to pray in big groups because that’s where the Lord’s spirit would show up. Subconsciously I adopted the mentality that I may not be important enough for God to hear my individual prayers. Even though I’d pray alone, I wouldn’t feel anything and that led me to believe that God wasn’t there. Until one night, I lay in my bed sobbing about not understanding my purpose. Tears clouded my vision and all I felt like doing was talking to God about it because I didn’t feel like I could pour out onto anyone else who would just let me talk. I remember getting out of bed, balling myself up on the floor with my knees touching my chest and my head bowed. Without any words, I cried into the palms of my hands. The time surpasses my memory but I know that it was late in the night. I mustered up the courage to say just a few words… “Lord I need your help, can you just let me know you’re at least hearing me?”.
In seconds, the Holy Spirit walked into my room. I felt Him. It was as if He just opened my bedroom door, walked in, and said “I am listening”. A cool and comforting breeze blanketed my body. It was weighty, it was pleasant, it was God. The muscles in my body relaxed; I didn’t even know I was so tense. I began crying even more. He heard me, He sees me, I am not insignificant. His presence sat with me for the remainder of that time and before I knew it, I wasn’t crying anymore. Suddenly, I had so much to be thankful for. My brain felt like it was going a mile a minute with all of the things, I couldn’t say it out loud fast enough. When I said everything I could think to say, I sat up and leaned against the wall facing my bed. It felt like He was sitting on the edge of my bed the whole time comforting me. I sat in that dark room with a smile in my heart and on my face and uttered the last words “thank you for being here with me Lord.” Slowly I got back into bed and pulled the covers over my shoulders. I had the best night of sleep.
With this story and the many others that I have experienced with God are what I hope to inspire other people with. I pray to be able to pray with people, love on people and share the good news about who God is. He’s not a monster, He’s not a dictator, He’s not imaginary. God is real. Jesus is real. The Holy Spirit is real. He is safe to trust because He is always there. He just knows what we need in the times that we need it. Since that first encounter, I made up in my heart that no matter what I go through, I can go to God about it. As I enter my 30s, I just know that God wants more from me and wants to do more through me to help other people understand just how good He really is. Thank you again for being here! I pray that you find something here that will bless you.
Until next blog, I’ll see you soon.